Mylene Lacroix – Page 15

August 18, 2013August 18, 2013

A Week of Goodbyes and the Start of Something New.

The last week of July into August was quite a week! I’m honestly glad it’s over.

On the Sunday, I moved all my things into storage. On the Monday, Steve moved. I worked nights Monday and Tuesday. On the Wednesday, I cleaned the house for the tenants. On the Thursday, I left my house for the last time. On the Friday, I gave the keys to the couple renting my house AND gave the keys to my car to it’s new owner. I then was sans car for the weekend but it worked out because I was living in town and was able to get rides to-from work for the weekend.

It all happened so fast and I was so tired that I’m wondering if it ever really had time to sink in. I miss my house. Everyday. I actually had to swing by the other day to get my copy of Interweave Knits. I didn’t drive up to the house. I couldn’t do it. It made me a bit sad to be there.

So, on a less depressing note, I got to spend 5 splendid days in Chicago last week at my friend Susie’s. When I got back, everyone asked about what kind of shinanigans went on while I was there. Truth is, I slept a lot and just took it easy. Susie is a great cook so my uniform pants were a bit snug when I returned to work. We did a lot of chatting, eating, walking, lounging and just taking relaxing. She did, however, take me to the local yarn shop, I’d Rather be Knitting. She also took me to get my new INK!!! Hahahhaha. Liberty Tattoo in Antioch, IL. Awesome shop. The artist – Eric Lynn – was a super-cool guy. I’d see him again. Plus, he gave me this beautiful tattoo!

August the 9th was someone’s big birthday – Steve – (30th – shhhh). Got together with some of his family and friends in Cambridge for the occasion.

I picked up my new car. I love it! I went from an automatic gas VW Golf to a standard diesel VW Jetta. This thing is LOADED! It is the bestest new-old car on the planet.

I also got to visit Michelle and the family in Waterloo. I always love seeing them. Michelle taught me how to do a proper yoga headstand. I was thrilled! I still can’t do it withouth using a wall – need to work on my core strength – but at least I can do one.

Now I’m back to my new reality (for a little while – hihihi). It’s sort of hard to get used to not going home. And, I can’t find ANYTHING. It’s super-frustrating. It’s getting better though. Fewf.

It’s been less than a week since I got back from Trip #1. I will settle in eventually. It’s been strange (in a good way) living with my mom and her husband. My biggest thing is whether I should eat this or that in case someone had plans for it. I love that there’s lots of space in the basement to do my yoga. 🙂 I feel badly that my stuff is all over their house. It will take a little adjusting for everyone I suppose. Oh, and it only takes me a minute and a half to get to work now! I’m just wondering how I still manage to be later than I would like though. :/

So… I’m already planning my next trip – CALIFORNIA in October for two weeks. Nancy and I are working nights together this weekend. There’s a lot of chatting going on. It’s awesome to already be looking forward to the next trip. I hope this whole year (and maybe longer) is this much fun. It’s worth being sad about the house.

Jacob starts school soon. He’s so funny! He sends me random texts and e-mails to tell me things like “I got a locker at school and put a lock on it and everything”. It’s adorable. I’m so happy that he’s this excited about going to school. I really want to make sure that this experience is awesome for him. Even though we don’t live together anymore, we still see each other at least once a week and chat via text every day just to check in. This week we went kayaking on the Rideau Canal. I so love spending time with him.

I haven’t had much time to knit or spin with everything that’s been going on. I finished Jenna’s baby sweater and I started a Lace Ribbon Scarf – that’s the first of the stash- busting projects.

Instead of going through all the fun stuff I’ve been doing, I’ll just attach a bunch of pics!

The note my step-dad left on my lunchbox one morning.

Waiting at the airport. I love the airport.

The tunnel at the Detroit airport. Beautiful.

Susie’s cheesecake. Yummy even with no crust or filling.

Front doors of Liberty Tattoo in Antioch, IL.

Souvenire yarn I got in Buffalo Grove – like I needed it.

Rhubarb from the garden dipped on raw sugar.

Me after a 12-hour night shift and my sister before driving an hour and a half to work.

After our kayak adventure on the Rideau – waiting for Jacob’s Beavertail.

July 27, 2013July 27, 2013

Comfortably Numb

We all know that expression: “Comfortably Numb”. But, does anyone know what it really means? I think I might. Today anyway.

All these changes I’ve made in my life have put in motion a wave of not-so-pleasent things. Change is difficult. Major change is practically painful. Except that, if you’re one of the lucky ones (like me), the end result might be bliss. Yes, I said bliss.

I’m sitting at my dining room table enjoying my coffee and I’m looking out at blank walls, empty drawers, cabinets and old trunks with no treasures in them. Most of my things are in storage now. I’m on the last leg.

Saying goodbye to your life as you know it, and have known it for years, is really… uncomfortable. REALLY uncomfortable. I’m feeling sad, unsure, insecure, worried and just plain petrified! I spent some time crying over the last few weeks as I packed up my things. BUT, I also spent some time being excited about what the future holds. Uncertainty can be exciting right? I know a few people who cringe at uncertainty. It really freaks me out too. But, at the same time, I feel the good kind of butterflies in my stomach.

On Monday, Nancy and I booked our flights to California. We’re doing The Coast. I may have floated home that night.

I sold my car. I’m getting another. In a few weeks. Feels strange.

I read an interesting article yesterday. Made me smile. It was about detoxing your life – getting rid of the things (and people) that tie us down – just for a little while. Me = house, stuff, car, stuff… Funny.

I still feel sad when I pull into the driveway and Jacob’s car is not there. I sometimes still can’t believe he’s gone. But, he’s doing so well. I’m so proud of him. I miss him.

I have been going through so many emotions each day that my brain has essentially shut down. I’ve become numb. But an OK numb. A content numb. A looking-forward-to-the-future numb. It will be nice to say “Hey, I have some extra money this week – I’m going to put it in Jacob’s account.” Or “Wow, that’s a great deal for a weekend in NYC. Who’s game?” That part will be FUN!

I don’t have good or bad “days” anymore. I have “moments”.

I saw Patrick’s mom last night and she told me he takes his monster truck everywhere. I love that she told me that. I was so proud. I hated making that damn thing but hearing her say that made it worth it. I’m still never making another.

I haven’t been knitting. I’m packing. And, I kind of just don’t feel inspired.

Tomorrow, all the furniture comes out. It will be fine. Right?

In 9 days, I will be on a flight heading towards my first adventure: Chicago. All will be well.

July 17, 2013

Breathe! This next chapter will be AWESOME!!

I woke up this morning with a really big knot in the pit of my stomach. I have two more weeks to sleep in my bed, in my bedroom, in my house. What a strange feeling. I get the knots often now. My move date is exactly two weeks from today. When the panic takes me over, I just breathe and remember how much fun the next year will be.

So far, I’ve taken enough out of the house that there’s a bit of an echo when I talk now. Freaks me out.

I did a second load to Lou’s today (where I’m storing my stuff). My wool is now in it’s new home. That’s another strange feeling. I know non-knitters wouldn’t think that that’s a big deal. But, let me assure you, IT IS TO A KNITTER! 🙂

Before I hauled it over there, I went through each bin (I think I counted 10) and took photos of what I had. I had this bright idea to package wool and pattern in zip-locks for easy access. Then I realized I gave Jacob my printer. So, I’ve just been matching up my yarn with the patterns in my queue on Ravelry. I panicked a bit today before loading the bins in the car because I don’t have a project right now!

I finished Jenna’s baby’s sweater. It’s adorable. I haven’t any pictures of it yet though. I’ll post them later. It needs buttons.

I also gave Patrick his monster truck today. He really liked it. I only stayed about 15 minutes but he must have said “I like my monster truck” a dozen times while I was there. Wonder if he’ll sleep with it tonight. His mother asked if she could wash it. Yikes! I turned to Patrick and said “Dude, you can’t throw up on the monster truck ok?” Problem solved.

My India travel guide came yesterday. I’ve barely had a chance to leaf through it cause it’s been a hectic couple of days. Maybe this weekend. WAIT, I’ll be looking through the California guide I ordered today on the weekend. EEEEEEEKKKKK!! I’m a bit excited, in case you couldn’t tell.

This whole transition period sucks. I’m so sad and so excited all at the same time. I still miss Jacob all the time. We still chat every day but I still miss having him around sometimes. I’m sad about leaving this house. I know it’s just a house but… There’s something about this place. I’m trying to really be present while I’m still here – to enjoy and appreciate every moment I have left here. But, at the same time, I’m anxious to get this process over with and be on the other side. Know what I mean?

Something else I’m really excited about: I got this amazing drawing of my next tattoo from Eric in Chicago. I’m thrilled with what he’s done up for me. It’s going to be beautiful.

On the weekend, Steve and I made a fire. My first and last of the summer. It was great. AND HOT! There was no wind and it must have been 30 000 000 degrees outside.

Well, that’s about as exciting as it gets for me these days. I’m pooped!

July 9, 2013July 9, 2013

Transition

I read this blog post a few weeks ago. It’s about TRANSITION. It really hit home at the time. Even though it doesn’t all apply to me, the idea is the same. Mind you, when I read it, my big changes were still over yonder. She put this at the top of her post:

Tomorrow, Jacob will have been in his new place for a whole week. I’m still having a hard time getting used to living alone – or without him. It’s very strange that he’s not here anymore. We still chat every day, which makes me feel better. I miss him. BUT, I don’t miss the empty Pepsi cans on the coffee table, the dirty dishes on the kitchen counter, the toast crumbs, or the little hairs all over the bathroom sink when he shaved. Hahahaha.

So, that’s one big change behind me. People keep telling me I’ll get used to not having Jacob around. But, I really don’t have time or the need to get used to anything because in 20 days, I won’t be living here anymore either.

I have so far packed up some of my books. That’s it! Help is on the way: Mom!

I’m a little weirded out about being homeless. I must admit. Sometimes I ask myself “What the hell are you doing?” Am I crazy? Fearless? Adventurous? Courageous? Or just nutts?

I’m very excited about travelling. I have some big plans for the next 6 months but the only one that’s for sure at this point is Chicago on August 5th. I’m going to visit some friends down there.

After that, I’m going to try to let things “flow” as my friend Pam would say.

On the fiber front, I have NO ORDERS pending. I’m so psyched. I get to knit whatever I want. Right now, I’m working on a baby sweater for my friends Jenna and Rob. They’re expecting their first baby in November. I actually have nothing else on the go. Well, I’m lying. I have the Tess D’Youberville shawl in progress but I’m not feeling it – I’ll be ripping it back today or tomorrow. Soon, I’ll start going through my wool to see what I can use up and/or get rid of. I have so much wool/fiber!!!

I sold my Matchless and my Traditional and got myself a little Sidekick. It’s a little spinning wheel that folds up into a back-pack for easy transport. I love it.

That’s all I got for today. It’s packing time.